17 januari 2014
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Door:
Francisopreis
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Ko Pha-Ngan,
Thailand
a
A
Thankfulness
Dear dear friends family,
First of all, I decided to continue writing my blogs in English so some other people can read it too.. Let's see how it goes :)
Trying to write a blog about my 5 weeks on Koh Phangan will be a challenge, because I don't know how I will be able to put in words how it was or what it did with me... but I will give it my best shot :)
When Malou and I first arrived on Koh phangan, we knew directly we were in the right place, at least for the surroundings... What a beautiful island it is!
When we found our home for the coming month, a really basic and simple, but cute bungalow at Happy Beach, 50 meters from a white sand beach and turquoise sea, we were even more sure.
When on the same beach, the same evening the sounds of drums, didgeridoo's and djembe's invited us to take a look... and ending up dancing the whole evening on the happy, danceable sounds of the weekly 'drum circle, every sunny Sunday'.. we couldn't have been more sure:
This will be some unforgettable weeks. And nothing was less true :)
So we started our course of yoga, at Agama Yoga. An amazing, intensive course, so informative, well taught, interesting, overwhelming...
Every morning and afternoon we would walk to class to learn new yoga postures and get information about all different kinds of subjects... yogastyles, meditations, energy, yin&yang, mantra's, tantra, karma, healthy diets etc..
In the beginning it was all overwhelming, so many new things.. But step by step, 6 days a week, this became our daily normality, learning so much every day..
On sundays we would go for excursions...
With a group of people growing every week, and always led by 'the italians' :), we would gather on our motorbikes (I definitely caught up the missed time and pleasure of having a motorbike when I was 16 ;) ) and drive to a different place on the island to enjoy our day off together, going to beautiful paradise beaches and for hikes through the mountains and 'jungles' of koh phangan, with stunning breathtaking views, sweating in herbal sauna's and enjoying fruitshakes and good food...
The time spent in and around Agama, and with all the amazing people I met on Koh Phangan, has been incredible... I can describe the facts of what I did there, but it's hard to say what the effect is for me. Partly because I'm not sure yet what it meant for me, it's so much, I still have to let it all deposit.... Partly because I think I just won't be able to put something so meaningful for me in just words.
Sometimes it was tough, it was not just a physical and intellectual learning... because going in so deeply with this practice also brought up many emotions, memories, thoughts, realizations, feelings... It wasn't always easy to face all that. It felt good though, everytime, some kind of detox for body, mind and soul, not easy, but cleaning, refreshing and vitalizing..
And besides all that, the fact of getting to know so many wonderful people, everyone with an own interesting, beautiful story, something to learn from everyone.. and connecting in beautiful ways.. made it an incredible experience with a huge importance for me.
It was hard to leave, Koh Phangan, which in the end was a wonderful place which started to feel like home..
It was hard to leave Malou, with whom I built up a great strong connection and got so close with.. we've been so intensively together and it went without any problem. We became like sisters, so close that we even started to have some kind of telepathic connection, thinking the same all the time :) I could rely on her, she was there to support me whenever things got hard, and she was there to have unforgettable moments and so much fun...
It was hard to leave everyone else I got to know, in Agama and in the time I spent on koh phangan after the course... with so many people I felt I connected in a strong way and shared so many great experiences with, big or small but all with an important meaning and impact...
Having quite a hard time with all these goodbyes now. Temporality. This inevitable fact in travelling.
Feeling sometimes this need of safeness, familiarity, people who know me well..
I'm not good at saying goodbye and that's not so handy in travelling.. :) in these moments I feel like missing home. Home, not a house but in the way of good friends and family... In these moments sometimes I just want to go back. But then I remember...
... 'The only constant factor in life, is change' ...
It's a truth of life, and in travelling you keep on having to face this fact, intensively.
Yesterday, while looking at a stunning sunset on the side of a little lake in Ayutthaya, I realized something important in this. I can stay in this sadness, and feel sad about having to leave people I care about. Or I can change the way I look at it.
The only solution for this feeling (except going back home, which is not the time for me yet ;) ) is thankfulness, which is the solution for so many things anyway in my opinion.
Everything changes, always, it's your choice how you look at it and how you feel about it.
I decided I want to be thankful for what I experienced and for who I met along my way..
I am thankful I got the chance to do the course in Agama, to spend an unforgettable time on Koh Phangan, having had the opportunity to enjoy this beautiful island and having had the luck of meeting and connecting with so many unforgettable people.
I am thankful that I have a 'home', which I can miss so greatly sometimes during this travel. Amazing friends, wonderful family which I carry in my heart.. Home, sweet sweet home.. If I didn't have that, I could not miss it..
I don't know yet exactly what this intensive period meant for me but I feel it did something huge with me. I can't see the big picture yet, but I guess in the end this big picture will be just a small piece of this puzzle I am creating piece by piece. A small piece of an immense picture. A step in a continuous journey in myself, one of many steps. There were many steps before this, and this one itself will be one for the next steps I will take.
I know my heart leads me and that is all I wanted.
Lots of love and sunshine..
Pictures will come soon...
Let's explore some of the real Thailand now :)