A story of a friendly old man
Blijf op de hoogte en volg Francis
03 Mei 2014 | Thailand, Bangkok
A few days ago I arrived in Bangkok for a short stopover before heading back to Chiang Mai and my second massage course in the Lahu-hilltribe village.
I was just wandering a bit around when, close to the station, an old little friendly man asked me where I was going. We ended up in a conversation where he gave me some tips for places to visit, and he invited me to join him to a Buddhist celebration in a temple in the old city. I was meaning to visit the old city anyway, and witnessing a Buddhist celebration in a beautiful, yet undiscovered temple by most tourists, sounded like a very nice invitation to me. So I accepted and me and Raphael met our new 'guide' the day after at the same spot at the station.
And so we left off towards the old center. While walking through Bangkok's crazy traffic and driving through the city in the local bus, the man, Sung, told many small and big interesting things about Bangkok, about Thailand and about the culture.
In the old town we got off the bus and took a little boat that navigated us through the many canals that run through Bangkok's old town. We got off at Wat Paknam Bhasicharoen, the temple.
An amazingly beautiful temple, with teak-wood pillars and marble floors, where many local people would perform different spiritual rituals, which was very interesting to see an join.
And we visited the biggest stupa I saw until now, with inside the most beautiful beautiful beautiful emerald construction, putting a little golden Buddha high on this emerald pedestal. The room was painted in the most beautiful, fitting colors and wall paintings.
It felt like in a fairy tale, and I felt so lucky to have met this man who was showing us all this hidden beauty. I was already thinking about how to thank him. Maybe a dinner together?
After that he took us to have a drink, and to visit the oldest temple of the city (1600 years old) and the oldest Buddha-statue in the city (1400 years old).
After this beautiful afternoon we took the boat back to the local bus station to take us back to the center. Before getting out of the boat Sung says we need to pay for the boat. 1200 Baht.
So... Ok, we didn't talk about money, but it makes sense that we have to pay the boatman some money for navigating us around. 400 baht seemed a bit much, but we had a great day and it was worth it.
We tell Sung that we need to go to the ATM because we didn't think about this, or he just didn't mention to us that we might need some cash for this kind of things.
Sung says that it's no problem, and that he will pay his part.
We leave all the three towards the ATM. In the meantime it becomes clear that we need to pay 1200 baht per person, not the three of us together.
A bit flabbergasted by this amount of money for a few short boat trips - but persuaded by our friend Song that 'other tourists' would pay much more for a trip like this - we bargain the price down to 1000 baht per person, walk back to the boatman and pay our part.
Our friend Sung then says goodbye and disappears in the crowd, leaving us behind somewhat confused.
And then, all of the sudden you finally see it. We have been ripped off. That was a ridiculous price to pay to the boatman. The first thoughts going through your head are something like: 'What just happened?' 'It was a set up. That was all set up!' 'No, wait, was it? Sung, he was so kind! He would not do that!' 'Why did I just pay that ridiculous amount of money? Why?! It was not like he was pointing a gun to our heads, we could have just walked away, refusing this. Why didn't we do that?'
It all just becomes clear. Of course. He played it well, I must say, but there were signs.
- The fact that the boat was already awaiting for us in the pier. These two man of course are friends and played the game together.
- Otherwise the boatman would never let all the three of us walk away to the ATM, if we owe him 2400 baht.
- All the phone calls Sung had to answer kind of seem to have something to do with this
- The beer we had definitely didn't help in our case
- The fact that Sung in everything payed his own part, to not raise our suspiciousness
And then I get frustrated with myself. Because I KNEW IT. I felt it, clearly, many times.
- When navigating through the canals of the old city, and noticing that our boatman was waiting for us at every stop we made, my thoughts were obvious: 'Somebody will have to pay for this, right? That will be probably us.' But I waved them away thinking that it will be fine, and I wouldn't mind to pay 1 or 2 hundred baht for this.
- I asked Sung where he learned to speak so well English, it's not usual....
- I even asked him if he does this more often! If he acts like a guide to tourists like this more often!
- When having our drink together a feeling just came up... A feeling that something was not right... Not clear why or what it was - just intuition. But also that feeling I waved away.
I'm not writing this story for pityness. Or to write how bad this man is. In the end he did show us some nice places that otherwise we would not have found and known.
And I mean, can you blame him, really? He probably just sees this as a way of making a bit extra cash out of rich tourists coming to his city. The fact that I'm running out of budget right now and I'm nearly broke doesn't matter. I have the opportunity to fly to the other side of the world to explore it, to explore life - and that is an opportunity that many, many people here or all over the world don't have. I realize that.
I'm writing this because I'm still thinking about it. I feel like everything that happens to you in life is there to teach you something and I need to formulate what this lesson is for me, and I would love to hear your opinions to form this more clearly for myself.
Many of you might probably tell me - or have told me already over and over - that I should start to be less naive. Yes you are right. Tell me a very, very very strange story or a crazy unbelievable fact and I will probably believe you.
Many of you might probably repeat, again: 'Francis, the world, the people walking around in it aren't all that good as you would like to believe.'
'You shouldn't trust anybody.'
But the problem - no, not problem - the thing is, I just don't want to look at the world like that.
I just don't want to look at the world around me - at every new person I meet - through glasses of suspiciousness.
I want to see the beauty of the world, I don't want to have a haze of negativity covering my sight.
You may call it naive. But I don't believe suspiciousness really helps that much because I know enough people who are always suspicious, who 'never trust anybody' but still get into these kind of situations. So what is the point then?
I'd rather look to the world with a little bit more pink glasses, and not feel affected too much by these things happening.
At the end of the day, we sat down on a local street corners' restaurant and had a great plate of Thai food. And I was thankful. For that I still could order a meal whenever I wanted to. For that we haven't been in any danger, only a disappointing situation - because I was really disappointed by Sung, he seemed so nice. That in the end, yes it was a big amount of money (especially on my budget right now) but we were still healthy, happy, and fortunate to be there where we were, learning what we were learning.
I'd rather take this lesson out of it. That I should always trust my guts, my intuition, ALWAYS. Because it's always right.
Because my intuition was there in this situation as well, it was feeling it, and it was right. I just had to listen to it, to trust it, but instead I ignored it.
Since I got to know my intuition and learned to feel and listen to it I just know it is always right and I'm feeling it more and more often. I believe it is a beautiful knowledge and guidance.
It feels good to write this down. To clearify what this experience meant for me.
I would love to hear your opinion if you have one on this.... If you experienced a same situation... If you would take another lesson out of this, or the same?
I'm curious to hear and learn from others' points of view...
In the meantime I will disappear for a week or two, to immerse myself again in the Lahu-village life and another Thai massage course before making my new big stap in this travel...
Thank you :)
Love, Hibiscus bisquit, Francis
I was just wandering a bit around when, close to the station, an old little friendly man asked me where I was going. We ended up in a conversation where he gave me some tips for places to visit, and he invited me to join him to a Buddhist celebration in a temple in the old city. I was meaning to visit the old city anyway, and witnessing a Buddhist celebration in a beautiful, yet undiscovered temple by most tourists, sounded like a very nice invitation to me. So I accepted and me and Raphael met our new 'guide' the day after at the same spot at the station.
And so we left off towards the old center. While walking through Bangkok's crazy traffic and driving through the city in the local bus, the man, Sung, told many small and big interesting things about Bangkok, about Thailand and about the culture.
In the old town we got off the bus and took a little boat that navigated us through the many canals that run through Bangkok's old town. We got off at Wat Paknam Bhasicharoen, the temple.
An amazingly beautiful temple, with teak-wood pillars and marble floors, where many local people would perform different spiritual rituals, which was very interesting to see an join.
And we visited the biggest stupa I saw until now, with inside the most beautiful beautiful beautiful emerald construction, putting a little golden Buddha high on this emerald pedestal. The room was painted in the most beautiful, fitting colors and wall paintings.
It felt like in a fairy tale, and I felt so lucky to have met this man who was showing us all this hidden beauty. I was already thinking about how to thank him. Maybe a dinner together?
After that he took us to have a drink, and to visit the oldest temple of the city (1600 years old) and the oldest Buddha-statue in the city (1400 years old).
After this beautiful afternoon we took the boat back to the local bus station to take us back to the center. Before getting out of the boat Sung says we need to pay for the boat. 1200 Baht.
So... Ok, we didn't talk about money, but it makes sense that we have to pay the boatman some money for navigating us around. 400 baht seemed a bit much, but we had a great day and it was worth it.
We tell Sung that we need to go to the ATM because we didn't think about this, or he just didn't mention to us that we might need some cash for this kind of things.
Sung says that it's no problem, and that he will pay his part.
We leave all the three towards the ATM. In the meantime it becomes clear that we need to pay 1200 baht per person, not the three of us together.
A bit flabbergasted by this amount of money for a few short boat trips - but persuaded by our friend Song that 'other tourists' would pay much more for a trip like this - we bargain the price down to 1000 baht per person, walk back to the boatman and pay our part.
Our friend Sung then says goodbye and disappears in the crowd, leaving us behind somewhat confused.
And then, all of the sudden you finally see it. We have been ripped off. That was a ridiculous price to pay to the boatman. The first thoughts going through your head are something like: 'What just happened?' 'It was a set up. That was all set up!' 'No, wait, was it? Sung, he was so kind! He would not do that!' 'Why did I just pay that ridiculous amount of money? Why?! It was not like he was pointing a gun to our heads, we could have just walked away, refusing this. Why didn't we do that?'
It all just becomes clear. Of course. He played it well, I must say, but there were signs.
- The fact that the boat was already awaiting for us in the pier. These two man of course are friends and played the game together.
- Otherwise the boatman would never let all the three of us walk away to the ATM, if we owe him 2400 baht.
- All the phone calls Sung had to answer kind of seem to have something to do with this
- The beer we had definitely didn't help in our case
- The fact that Sung in everything payed his own part, to not raise our suspiciousness
And then I get frustrated with myself. Because I KNEW IT. I felt it, clearly, many times.
- When navigating through the canals of the old city, and noticing that our boatman was waiting for us at every stop we made, my thoughts were obvious: 'Somebody will have to pay for this, right? That will be probably us.' But I waved them away thinking that it will be fine, and I wouldn't mind to pay 1 or 2 hundred baht for this.
- I asked Sung where he learned to speak so well English, it's not usual....
- I even asked him if he does this more often! If he acts like a guide to tourists like this more often!
- When having our drink together a feeling just came up... A feeling that something was not right... Not clear why or what it was - just intuition. But also that feeling I waved away.
I'm not writing this story for pityness. Or to write how bad this man is. In the end he did show us some nice places that otherwise we would not have found and known.
And I mean, can you blame him, really? He probably just sees this as a way of making a bit extra cash out of rich tourists coming to his city. The fact that I'm running out of budget right now and I'm nearly broke doesn't matter. I have the opportunity to fly to the other side of the world to explore it, to explore life - and that is an opportunity that many, many people here or all over the world don't have. I realize that.
I'm writing this because I'm still thinking about it. I feel like everything that happens to you in life is there to teach you something and I need to formulate what this lesson is for me, and I would love to hear your opinions to form this more clearly for myself.
Many of you might probably tell me - or have told me already over and over - that I should start to be less naive. Yes you are right. Tell me a very, very very strange story or a crazy unbelievable fact and I will probably believe you.
Many of you might probably repeat, again: 'Francis, the world, the people walking around in it aren't all that good as you would like to believe.'
'You shouldn't trust anybody.'
But the problem - no, not problem - the thing is, I just don't want to look at the world like that.
I just don't want to look at the world around me - at every new person I meet - through glasses of suspiciousness.
I want to see the beauty of the world, I don't want to have a haze of negativity covering my sight.
You may call it naive. But I don't believe suspiciousness really helps that much because I know enough people who are always suspicious, who 'never trust anybody' but still get into these kind of situations. So what is the point then?
I'd rather look to the world with a little bit more pink glasses, and not feel affected too much by these things happening.
At the end of the day, we sat down on a local street corners' restaurant and had a great plate of Thai food. And I was thankful. For that I still could order a meal whenever I wanted to. For that we haven't been in any danger, only a disappointing situation - because I was really disappointed by Sung, he seemed so nice. That in the end, yes it was a big amount of money (especially on my budget right now) but we were still healthy, happy, and fortunate to be there where we were, learning what we were learning.
I'd rather take this lesson out of it. That I should always trust my guts, my intuition, ALWAYS. Because it's always right.
Because my intuition was there in this situation as well, it was feeling it, and it was right. I just had to listen to it, to trust it, but instead I ignored it.
Since I got to know my intuition and learned to feel and listen to it I just know it is always right and I'm feeling it more and more often. I believe it is a beautiful knowledge and guidance.
It feels good to write this down. To clearify what this experience meant for me.
I would love to hear your opinion if you have one on this.... If you experienced a same situation... If you would take another lesson out of this, or the same?
I'm curious to hear and learn from others' points of view...
In the meantime I will disappear for a week or two, to immerse myself again in the Lahu-village life and another Thai massage course before making my new big stap in this travel...
Thank you :)
Love, Hibiscus bisquit, Francis
-
03 Mei 2014 - 12:00
Hans:
Nice story Francis. Have no advice for you, I'm still running into these things. :-)
Wishing you lots of luck.
Love, Hans -
03 Mei 2014 - 12:00
Hans:
Nice story Francis. Have no advice for you, I'm still running into these things. :-)
Wishing you lots of luck.
Love, Hans -
03 Mei 2014 - 12:23
Francis:
Lieve Francis,
Dank voor je vertrouwen en het delen van deze gebeurtenis en je ervaringen. Indrukwekkend en herkenbaar. Ik ben het met je eens dat je de keuze hebt in je benadering en dat je ervoor kiest er een les uit te trekken, die bij je past, waar je op constructieve wijze mee verder kunt, begrijp je wat ik bedoel? In jouw geval 'varen op je intuitie'. Ik vind dat een heel goed plan en dat inzicht is GOUD waard
Maar ook : take care, stap niet impulsief ergens in , oftewel: TAKE YOUR TIME, geef jezelf de tijd om stil te staan en goed bij je jezelf na te gaan, voordat je beslist, je intuïtie werkt dan nl. beter, je maakt daar dan bewust contact mee en bent dan dichter bij jezelf (wat volgens mij best een uitdaging is in een woelige, fascinerende en vreemde omgeving ;-)
Alle goeds en liefs vanuit Deventer
Francis -
03 Mei 2014 - 12:42
Rosalie:
Hoi Francis, wat heb je een inspirerende blog zeg. Leuk om te lezen. Gaaf dat je weer naar het Lahu dorpje gaat. Alvast veel plezier gewenst! -
03 Mei 2014 - 13:34
Elly:
lieve francis, mooi om van je te horen hoe je je voorneemt om je intuïtie te volgen als een kompas dat je kunt vertrouwen.
dan hoef je verder niet rond te lopen met ogen van wantrouwen.
je hebt de shit omgezet in compost :)
grote omhelzing, Elly
p.s wie is Raphael?
-
03 Mei 2014 - 13:59
Francis:
Dankjulliewel voor de reacties!
Hahahaha! Elly! Wat leuk benoemd! Zelfs in totaal andere situaties leer ik nog wat over tuinieren ;)
Raphael is een vriend van me waar ik de afgelopen twee maanden mee heb samengereisd door Laos. Volgend weblog zal ik daar meer over vertellen, incl foto's :)
Francis, ik besefte me inderdaad ook al schrijvende dat je de les eruit haalt, die voor jezelf het belangrijkste is of waar je iets mee wil/van wil leren.. Dankjewel voor het delen van je gedachtengang hierover :)
Veel liefs!
-
03 Mei 2014 - 19:45
Hueshy:
Ripped off !!!
Laat ik hierin even mijn zuiver zicht geven over GELD.
Over de gehele wereld gebruiken wij een ruilmiddel wat we wat gemakkelijk kunnen bewaren in de vorm van geld. De waarden is vastgesteld. Met de hoeveelheid hiervan dénken wij het geld te bezitten. Wat we niet beseffen is dat in principe wij geen geld bezitten maar dat er vastgelegd is hoeveel geld wij mogen gebruiken om het in onze economie te 'verruilen'.
Geld is geen bezit, wij mogen slechts over een deel beslissen hoe wij het ruilen en verruilen !!! En dat ligt aan de omstandigheden ; soms is de waarde van iets méér, dan weer minder waard. En dan heb je nog die gevallen dat iets van onbetaalde waarde is ...
Welnu Francis, wat jij hierboven hebt meegemaakt is van onbetaalde waarde. Degene die om levenservaring wil betalen wordt wel dégelijk opgelicht. In het bovenstaand verhaal heb je jezelf niet aangemeld, je hebt het ondergaan vanuit een positief gevoel. Zoals je beschrijft had je wél af en toe het onaangename gevoel dat er iets niet klopte. Alsof er een som wordt uitgelegd en er 'breuken' in voorkomen waarvan je het bestaan niet wist. Sommeer je dit alles bij elkaar ... dan 'kost het veel denkwerk', maar de uitkomst is duidelijk én zuiver. Bij jouw verhaal is de uitkomst dat de man zijn winst in geld heeft en jij je winst in ervaring rijker bent : een duidelijke win-win situatie. En JAZEKER, je had je geld ook aan andere doelen kunnen besteden, maar is dit doel dan minder kostbaar?
" Duizenden guldens worden uitgegeven om mensen in droge gebieden aan water te helpen, terwijl er ook genoeg plek aan zee is ..."
Francis, geef je zelf niet het gevoel dat je iets verkeerds hebt gedaan. Deze ervaring kostte je wat meer dan dat je gevoelsmatig zou hebben willen betalen ... maar deze ervaring kostte nu eenmaal dit bedrag.
Wat je kosteloos hierbij meekrijgt is een zelfontplooiing die wordt aangevuld met wantrouwen. Het winst van het verkrijgen van vertrouwen in de mensheid - die je zo mooi aan het ontdekken was - wordt nu afgestraft. Jammerlijk, maar erg reëel.
Geloof me, " Sung is het aloude lied over het leven ". Hij is in jouw leven geroepen om je attent te maken over keuzes ... echter ik wil je graag doen geloven dat élke keuze juist is !!! Als je de keuze maar bewust maakt én hierin beseft dat je tijd mag nemen !!!
Off you go ;-) we will follow ... X -
03 Mei 2014 - 22:03
Veronica:
Lieve Francis,
Ik schrijf het in het Nederlands, al voelt dat raar, zodat ik niet alle andere lezers buitensluit.
Wat een mooi verhaal.
Ik moet denken aan iets wat ik nog nooit had verteld (of alleen aan een enkeling).
4 jaar geleden was ik op de fiets op weg naar de studio om te mediteren, om 4:00 's nachts. Ik was net begonnen met yoga en heel open en verwonderd naar/over de wereld. Een donkere man kwam naar mij toe. Hij vertelde dat hij een vluchteling was en het land uit moest. De dag daarna zou hij moeten gaan, weg van zijn vrouw en kinderen. Als hij zijn paspoort kon vernieuwen (of visum verlengen, zoiets) kon hij nog langer hier blijven. Hij had daar 200 euro voor nodig. Als ik mijn rekeningnummer zou geven, zou hij het geld terugstorten wanneer hij het weer had.
Ik had een spaarrekening waar ik van leefde, en dacht "voor mij is het ook veel geld, maar ik kan deze man redden, ik heb het geld nota bene, wat is nu belangrijker?".
En pinde 200 euro. Met een goed gevoel ging ik naar mijn meditatie.
Maar daarna had ik nog altijd het gevoel dat iemand bij mij in de schuld stond. Hoe langer de tijd verstreek, hoe meer ik besefte dat hij het geld nooit terug zou geven.
Vorig jaar:
Veel gebeurd, geleerd van het leven. Sterker geworden in mijn gevoel.
Om 4:00 's nachts fietste ik naar de yogastudio. Op straat kwam ik een donkere man tegen die mij aansprak.
Hij was een vluchteling en zou de dag erna het land uit gezet worden. Hij had 200 euro nodig om zijn papieren in orde te krijgen, en dan zou hij kunnen blijven.
He, droomde ik nou? Het was dezelfde man!
Dit keer voelde ik mij heel anders. Alsof ik een grens had gekregen. Kalm en nuchter vertelde ik hem dat ik 3 jaar daarvoor al 200 euro aan hem had gegeven, en dat ik dat nu niet zou doen. Ik groette hem en ging naar mijn meditatie. In gedachte kon ik deze man vergeven en kon ik eindelijk de schuld kwijtschelden.
Dit keer voelde ik mijn centrum heel sterk.
Wat ik hiervan heb geleerd: de dingen om je heen laten zien waar je zwaktes nog liggen. Bij mij liggen die oa in het voelen van mijn grenzen en het denken dat ik iemands' verantwoordelijkheid moet overnemen. Bij de tweede onmoeting voelde ik dat ik hierin was gegroeid. Dankzij deze man kon ik die vergelijking maken.
Nog steeds laten allerlei mensen (die ik dan heeeel irritant vind) mij merken wanneer ik niet helemaal in mijn kracht sta.
Ik denk dat het bij jou ook zo is. En dat je van binnen hebt gevoeld wat je helpt om bij je kracht te komen/blijven: je intuïtie.
We komen niet voor niets uit hetzelfde gezin :)
Veel liefs, Sat Nam,
Veronica -
04 Mei 2014 - 05:47
Francis:
Dankjewel Henry voor je kijk op mijn verhaal en de inspirerende gedachtengang erachter over zoveel meer dan alleen dit verhaal. Heel mooi!
Lieve Vero, wow wat een verhaal.. Dankjewel voor het delen ervan en van alle inspirerende, positieve lessen die je er uiteindelijk uit hebt gehaald. Ik heb bewondering voor je.
Mis je, liefs! -
04 Mei 2014 - 18:19
Veronica:
Mis jou ook!
En dank vooral jou voor de inspiratie die je vanuit de andere kant van de wereld brengt! Ik mail je :) -
05 Mei 2014 - 08:08
Pieter Schwegman:
Lieve Francis,
Zit net je blog te lezen hier in Budrio en, guess what, 32 jaar geleden was ik in Bangkok, rondslenterend in de buurt van het koninklijk paleis, overweldigd door alle pracht en praal. Een wat oudere vriendelijke man komt op me af, en de rest van het verhaal heb je net zelf verteld. Bij mij eindigde het verhaal met een enorme kaakslag die ik me nog goed kan herinneren, en dat ik met mijn langere benen heel hard weg kon rennen, een ervaring rijker.
Liefs en groeten uit mooi Italie. We gaan zo richting de Bergen, Henriette opzoeken.
Papa -
14 Mei 2014 - 11:00
Marieke:
Being naive toward your intuition is taking this theme to the next level.. -
17 Mei 2014 - 13:07
Francis:
Wow pap, dat verhaal wil ik nog wel uitgebreider horen! :)
En hoe italie was! Snel skypen.. Liefs!
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